Mario

Mario Jokes

Poop

Jeffy: "Daddy, Daddy, a monster said it’s gonna poop in your hat!"

Marvin: "I don’t believe that."

Jeffy: "But he said, 'Jeffy, I’m gonna poop in your Daddy’s hat!'"

The next morning,

Jeffy: "Daddy, a monster pooped in your hat!"

*Marvin/Mario looks in his hat*

Marvin: "Jeffy, I don’t believe you, you pooped in my hat!"

Mom

Your mom is so dumb that somebody told her, "Go get a life," so she went to play Super Mario and got a 1-up.

Plumber

Do not be racist; be like Mario. He's an Italian plumber, who was made by the Japanese, speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!

Candice

SMG4 Mario be like in Ohio: I don’t wanna do this...

Candice everyone: Candice?

Mario: CAN DEEZ NUTS FIT IN YOUR MOUTH!

Rape

Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.

Kidnapping

Mario: Princess Peach got kidnapped again!

Luigi: Where did they go?

Mario: To the left.

Luigi: Fuck

Mama

Yo mama so fat.

In Super Mario Galaxy, she was a fucking planet!

Kid

I pushed a disabled kid down a busy road and yelled out, "Mario Kart!"

Grandma

I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.

Racist

Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!

He's an Italian plumber, created by the Japanese, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew.

Yo mama

Yo mama, why do you have to jump in the pool as soon as I can find the water on Mario? I mean, Mario jump to Mars!

Post

The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow.’” He commented “What the hell is wrong with you?” and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.”

He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”

Child Support

A Mario & Luigi joke.

What are the Mario bros' view on child support?

Mario: The parents are obligated to provide for the child and help them the best they could.

Luigi: LMAO I GOTTA GO!