Marathon

Marathon Jokes

Hairline

This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!

Sex

They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?

Fitness

My fitness guru said that if I got raped, it would help me in future marathons.

Russia

Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.

Foot

What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.

Runner

I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."

Africa

How do you get 1 million followers:

{ RUN THROUGH AFRICA WITH A BOTTLE OF WATER }

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  • Blast

    Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!

    Vegan

    How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?

    They'll tell you.