Marathon

Marathon jokes

This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!

They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?

My fitness guru said that if I got raped, it would help me in future marathons.

Russia and Ukraine are running a marathon. Who do you think won? Russia did. Russia gave Ukraine a migraine.

What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.

I was watching the London Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought: "This'll be interesting."

Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!

Once, there was a brother and a sister that shared a YouTube channel. He named it "Penis Dick Marathon."