Maintenance jokes

In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.

Uranus is blue from lack of service.

Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.

The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"

It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.

How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!