Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
American says: "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..."
Sardar ji says: "Accha, India me to shaadi.....Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"
Yo mama so stupid, she spoke into a letter for voicemail.
Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!
This man came up to me and asked if I could sell my house to him, and I said sure. Then five days later, he said that the loan should come in the mailbox. Then I checked the mailbox, and the only thing I saw was nothing, so I told the guy, "DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!"
Why did the mailman die?
Because everyone dies.
Others, tearfully: Stop shipping real people!!
Me, packing an old lady in a FedEx box: Nope!
When does a dyslexic person know when they've spelt their address wrong?
When it fails to turn up.
one night a father heard his daugter saying good night good night mom god night dad good night mamah good by papa the next day her papa died he heard her saying them a month later good night mom god night dad good by mamah the next day her mamah died well her dad was scared for his life he knew he was next well his daugter said them again good night mom good by dad the next day the mail man droped dead on their porch.
This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.
What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.
Voicemailing.
16 is a knight? Mail.
What is mail? Boring.
Dad: What's the difference between an ELEPHANT and a POSTBOX?
Son: I don't know.
Dad: I'd better not trust you with my post then.
Riddle: I don't move, I travel across the world, but I never leave the corner. What am I?
Answer: A stamp.
What did the bus say to the mail? Dog
LBB- me and Shrek built a theme park for you mummy and it’s called Dummy pee pee poo poo doo doo land because Shrek likes to poop.
Shrek- Should I pull the trap?
*LBB’s mom walks into the trap*
LBB and Shrek- surprise we’re mailing you to Peepoo Peepoo AB
Why are basements so scary? Cuz of the mail.
