Magician jokes
Voting for Hillary because of her political experience is like...
Hiring Hitler as a birthday magician because he made 6,000,000 people disappear.
Why did the rapper become a magician?
Because he wanted to drop some ILL-USIONS.
Why did Daveon decide to become a magician? Because he wanted to make his problems "Daveon" disappear.
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
Eminem-o the Great.
I'm a magician. Watch my closing act at the end of the rope.
The kid's dad was a magician because he disappeared and never came back.
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!
A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.
The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.
Magitat?
Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"
Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.
What is an orphan's dad's job?
A magician because he makes himself disappear.
Why don't we have female magicians?
'Cause the last ones got hanged.
I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.
I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!
Is your dad a magician?
Because he magically disappeared.
What did the magician do as a trick in his show?
Make your doubts about magic... DISAPPEAR!
Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.
That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.
Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.
What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?
Ian.