For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.
What’s the difference a mistake and an orphan
At least the mistake was loved
Why did the hooker fall in love? Stockholm syndrome.
Why do orphans look so ugly?
Because they have a face not even a mother could love.
They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
Normal Kids: Today is a lovely day Emo kids: Here lies Chris he shot himself
What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
Read more: 100 of the funniest ever jokes and best one-liners
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
prostitutes love their job's their always having a blast
Put a kid in a wheel chair in a the twin towers, damn I love Hot wheels
What's the difference between an orphan and a second-hand book?
The second-hand book was loved once.
(A horrible pick up line) are you the two towers? Cause I'd love to take you out 🤭
Why did the orphan try to get hurt?
Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.
He looks around, no one is there.
Love is a good thing, never be embarrassed by it.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I?
Don't you just love wrecking little girl's pussies. Like the tight feeling is just amazing. The great amount ecstasy you feel when you cum and they get all squirmy. It's just the best.
True Story
A CO was receiving inmates as they're being recalled from their assigned jobs to prepare for count. An inmate that had passed the officer returned bleeding through his trousers from his crotch. The inmate had an argument with his lover who had told him that he wasn't enough woman for him. As the inmate was bleeding he was crying out. "He doesn't love me anymore!!" The officer called for medical assistance and went into the assigned cell. He found the severed penis. He fished it out of the toilet and placed it in a plastic bag with ice. He claimed that the medical staff at the hospital could reattach it. He took a ribbing from his fellow officers, because ,most would've flushed it. I retired and months later saw a fellow officer at the store. As we caught up, I mentioned that the last incident I responded to was 'the severed penis' the officer tells me that the inmate severed his penis again after it was reattached and flushed it himself.
why do emos love jumping in water. Because it invaulves a rope
Like this if you laughed.
These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!
Hailey: "Hey Brayden!"
Brayden: "Hey!"
*Music roles around*
*I tell Brayden Hailey likes him*
Brayden: "O_O"
Hailey: *Hides*
So sad </3 xD
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.
