Lot jokes
Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?
Yesterday I had a party in my basement.
I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!
An Abo walks into a pub with a seagull on his shoulder. The barman asks, "Where did you find that?" The seagull replied, "At the tip, mate, there are lots there."
What do Diddy and Turkish men have in common?
They both use lots of oil.
I went to a handicapped comedy club, but all the jokes they told were special, and they didn't know a lot about stand-up at all.
I watched a movie with a lot of ketchup on the ground.
I don't know why my friends look disgusted.
They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.
A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.
Cam likes to peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee a lot.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
One would think Dracula would have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, no one likes him. He is a pain in the neck.
Your hairline and your forehead must have a lot in common because they go waaaaaaaayyy back!
If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.
What do you call a guy that lies a lot?
The president.
Why do people have a lot of money and they have to spend it on jewelry 24/7 all the time?
One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"
Am I doing my work? Because typing this took lots of work.
What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?
Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?
You walk into a room, and there’s a lot of people waiting in line to punch you... Yeah, that’s the punchline.