A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde walk into a bar. They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about their opinions on elements. The redhead says, “I love gold because I can buy a lot of cars with it.” The brunette says, “I would prefer platinum because it is more valuable than gold and can buy you more cars.” The blonde says, “I have 2 bags of silicon and you should see the cars outside my house.”
There's more genders than there are cars in a walmart parking lot
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
How many babies dose it take to make dinner 3 to 4 theirs not a lot of meat on them
(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)
MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?
BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!
MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?
BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!
MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?
BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.
MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.
BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!
(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)
MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Solve this equation: a gay boy+a whole lots a drugs
A hyped up f'ing machine
What kind of rape victim has a shower ten times a day?
The type that gets raped a lot
Friends are very important . I have lots of friends in very high places I hope the police can talk them down
this is a lot like anal sex
you always miss 100% of shots if you take it
What does a skeleton say when it has alot of stuff?
"I have a SKELE-TON of stuff to do.
Harry Potter Dobby: Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!!
Jumanji Coach Webb: Ok, theres alot wrong with that.
Guys if you saw a post from someone is pretending to be me don't listen to them. I'm just going to be out for 3 days. or maybe for a mounth break. There are a lot fakers.
Why are friends a lot like snow? If you pee on them, they disappear.
Why was the rapper always calm?
Because he had a lot of CHILL FLOWS
Popcorn means Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany. HO means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.
Christopher Columbus:*Sees native americans* Can i see your land Native amercians:sure just be care.......... Christopher Columbus:Boonk gang whole lot of gang shit
Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" and he came running in. "Bruce, I’ve bloody suctioned myself to the floor" she said. "S’truth, Sheila!" Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You’re stuck fast girl. I’ll go across the road and get me mate Cobber." They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. "No way, we can’t do it!" Cobber said, "So let’s try Plan B" "Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "What’s that?" "I’ll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we’ll break the tiles under her" replied Cobber. "Spot on" Bruce said, "While you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play with her nipples" "Play with her nipples?" Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate" "No... " Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper"
few jokes (sorry if they have already been used.) 1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall. 3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks. 4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans. 5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course! 6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here." 7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler. 8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights
Why do midgets need a lot of books at school?
So they can reach the top of the desk.
