Lot jokes

Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?

It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.

Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.

I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.

Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.

Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?

Cause that's the only way they get love.

The first time riding my bike was a lot like my first time having sex.

It was hot. I was sweaty, but my sister had her hands on my shoulders all the time.

It's not surprising there isn't a whole lot of good tree jokes.

Most foresters have a wooden personality.

Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.

There are a lot of things that explode... like cars, boats, the Twin Towers.

I find that a lot of butts CRACK me up.

I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.

I had to give up my vegetarian diet. Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me.

It means a lot!

Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).

1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.

3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.

4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.

5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!

6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."

7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.

8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.

What takes up 10 parking spaces? Five female drivers.

Why did the fridge have lots of friends?

Cause it was COOL.

You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?

A lot of things.

Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.

What is the reason for the first time since I've seen a lot to be desired in the morning? To you, eat ass...

What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?

Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?

A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.

Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.

I remember when I was a kid, I thought the world used to be colorless.

I was kinda right. They used to not let colors in a lot of areas.