Lost jokes
Did anyone around here lose a roll of twenty-dollar bills wrapped with a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band.
Why can’t the USA play chess?
Because they lost their two towers.
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?
He's all right.
I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."
Pierre Poilievre has lost the government position he had for 20 years.
Bet he wishes his mom HAD used that coat hanger.
Why did the cellphone get glasses? Because it lost its contacts!
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.
Why were the UK and the USA bad at chess?
Because they lost their queen and two towers.
Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.
Why do Republican men hate transgender people?
Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.
Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?
Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always know where the BEAT is.