What do you do when you see a a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going into circles
Why is E.T. better than an orphan? Because he found his way home
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet
Yo mama so hairy that she got a haircut and lost 47 pounds.
One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card and we live far and we my mom was hungry. A guy and his friend had a car and k us if we were lost. We said no we have no ride, no money and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each so I was driving the car and my mom gave the both guys a blowjob. We had to get out the car to look for something then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I ask what the bad news that they're not taking us home so I ask what the good news they told me that they feed my mom and drove off. I guess where we i guess the left us wsnt long walk and my mom wasm't hungry no more.
One day at school I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.
The next day at school I made fun of an orphan.
Why can't England play chess... because they lost their queen
What do you say when your pet pig gets lost?
This is a PIG problem!
Why did the duck walk across the road I lost my pecker
Why is UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.
So this guy right, he has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog. About 2 weeks after he loses everything he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "what do you mean by 'blowing chunks' ?" says the boss. The man replies with, " Chunks is the name of my dog..."
Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street. A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.
What do Spiderman and an orphan have in common? They both have no way home.
Yo mama's so fat.. When Thanos snapped, she only lost a few kg
A man comes home, and the wife says, "My ex just died by getting hit by a bus." And the husband said, "I lost my job as a bus driver."
On 9/11, the New Yorks lost to the Jets.
A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her. "Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.
"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."
The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."
The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fullfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"
"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.
"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"
ur mum so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost
Friend. Hi
Me. Do you know how lost there dad
Friend, me
Me, damn no not you
Frend,, then who?
Me , the offen kid
I gest were the the same
Warning, All unsaved progress will be lost." - Sun Tzu, The Art of war
