Lost jokes
I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him "rape."
One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.
Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.
Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."
I think our destination is under there.
Under where?
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Why is Jenna Marbles so funny? She lost all her marbles.
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"
Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.
One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.
Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost 2 towers.
Why doesn't the U.S. Government play Clash of Clans?
Because they lost two towers already.
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.
What does Fortnite and real life have in common?
They both lost their tower.
I tried to give directions to an orphan, but he got lost because there was no home.
Why couldn't the orphan watch Spiderman? He couldn't find his way home.
Why does Britain suck at chess?
They lost their queen.
Why can't Americans play chess? Because they lost their 2 towers.
Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale? Because they lost their 2 towers.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
I sat down and reminisced about the past. I remembered all the people I've lost along the way.
Maybe becoming a tour guide wasn't a good idea.
Why is England so bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they lost their queen.