Loss jokes
What does the M and D in "orphan" stand for?
"Mum" and "Dad."
How do you call a mirror and an orphan?
Family reunion.
I would invite you to play baseball, but there's no home for you to run to.
Teacher: I was an orphan as a child.
Student: Sorry to hear.
Teacher: Is anyone missing today?
Student: Your parents.
Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?
'Cause their dad never came back with it.
What are two things that an orphan can’t have?
Two parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They don't know where home is.
My grief counselor died the other day.
He was so good at his job, I don't even care.
Why can't orphans cross the street? Because they can't go home.
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
Why do orphans make terrible baseball players?
They don't know where home plate is.
Where do you find an orphan? Just look for your mum.
What is hard to find but easy to make?
An orphan.
Why do orphans hate iPhones? Because they have a home button.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home.
I've got an impressive record at Russian roulette. Retired after one loss ever.
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
What do you do when an orphan is taking a photo?
Yell "FAMILY PICTURES!"