Loss jokes
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What does the M and D in "orphan" stand for?
"Mum" and "Dad."
Teacher: Is anyone's parents missing?
Students: Yeah, yours.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home base.
Teacher: I was an orphan as a child.
Student: Sorry to hear.
Teacher: Is anyone missing today?
Student: Your parents.
Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?
'Cause their dad never came back with it.
Why can't orphans score in baseball?
They can't find home.
Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.
My grief counselor died the other day.
He was so good at his job, I don't even care.
Why can't orphans cross the street? Because they can't go home.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their way to the store to see their dad.
I'm making a website for orphans. [I] won't add the home page.
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
Why do orphans make terrible baseball players?
They don't know where home plate is.
Q: What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A: A family picture.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
Why do orphans hate iPhones? Because they have a home button.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They can’t find home.
I've got an impressive record at Russian roulette. Retired after one loss ever.
Why don’t orphans play poker?
'Cause they don’t know what a full house is.