What did the orphan say to the house? Can i live here
THE TUPPERWARE PEOPLE CAME TO OUR HOUSE. THEY ASKED MY WIFE WHERE'S KITCHEN. SORRY I HAVE ONLY LIVED HTERE FOR 3 MONTHS. BUT MY JEWELRY IS UP STAIRS IN MY JEWELRY BOX LOCATED IN MY BEDROOM
A cop saw an old lady carring two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash. "How did you get all this?" asked the cop. "Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grapped by hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that nobody pees in my yard ever again." The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?" She said, "Not everybody paid."
jesus told me if I believed I would live for eternity. I believed but at 97 I died...
I think jesus is broken
Three sons left home, went out into the world and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.
'I built a big house for our mum,' said the first.
'I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur,' said the second.
And the third smiled and said, 'I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it.'
A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,
'The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house.'
To the second son she said, 'I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude.'
To the third son she wrote 'Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!'
You have 10 to live
βWait, as in 10 minutes?
10, 9 8..
my friend lives in a caravan park his parents named him money because they thought it was a type of currency
what do you Call a kid that lives alone?
A orphan. ;)
Gwen: Prince they told me you'd be crying back. What do you want?
Prince: Nothing...BUT CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER!?!?!
Gwen: Sorry...BUT...I have a life to live now I'm logging of this site and going to watch some tv I'll be back in 1 hour but we are done...DONE...DONE
There were 30 high school seniors taking finals, and once they finished, the teacher, Mrs Jones walked up and down the classroom to collect the tests, and asked "so, are you guys ready for college?" And Brian answered "no way. School is just a waste of time, every day taking *seven cruel hours of our lives*." Angela replied "never! Like Brian said, school is just a waste of time, and the next level is surely not worth paying $50,000 for. Besides, math class is *mental abuse to humans*!" And Jack said "school has been a waste of so much time I'll never get back, and after these *finals* I've realized...*fuck, I never actually learned shit*!"
lil johnny can home one day and said what do fucking each other man then he walked tho the living room and his dad was fucking his mom so oh
Do people live on the earth π? Yes a lot of people live on the earth π
Jesus stinks so bad he killed all living things in heaven
Why did the orphan live at school?
Because on the first day his parents didnβt pick home up
Nolan is a mole, who lives in a hole, and then had intercourse with a troll.
There are 4 people on a airplane and the pilot has a heart attack and dies the plane is going down and there are also only 3 parachutes so the guy who knows how to cure cancer says Iβm jumping I can save many lives the the 46 president joe Biden says Iβm take ing the 2 one so there is only one left Donald trump says to the 7 year old girl I have lived a long life u an take the next one so the little girl says thatβs ok the 46 president took my back pack.lol
There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest. On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesnt experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place." So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his Re-seeding Heirline.
