Living jokes
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?
Sanity to live: I don't know?
Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!
Sanity to live? *dies*
Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.
Sanity to live: *resurrected*
Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...
(sponsored by jumping bridges)
Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.
Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.
Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.
I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.
I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.
I called her the Fallen Angel.
I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.
(Male fantasy)
Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.
I got knob cheesed after your sexy mom was on top, dry humping me on the vanilla-coloured living room carpet.
Raju: How about you, Sunil?
Do you know?
Sanju: Sunil is my long distance
is a brother.
Raju: Long brother?
Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.
Why was the rapper always happy?
Because he lived life on the rhyme side!
What do a mole and an eagle have in common?
They live underground, except for the eagle. Lol.
If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.
I saw this boy named Phone. He said where would he live? I said an orphanage.
"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"
"Only in your dreams."
What do you call a house with no one living inside?
An orphan house.
I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"
My live.
Why can't homeless people buy a house?
'Cause they live on the streets.
I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.