Living jokes

Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.

My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."

I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."

I threw my boomerang and now I live in constant fear.

There's a one-story house. Everything's yellow, even the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms. What color are the stairs?

Orphan: Where are my parents?

God: New York City.

Orphan: But they used to live in China.

In India, whoever lives facing the roadside, this is for them.

Whenever it starts raining heavily, our homes turn into pool-facing homes because the roads disappear.

Yo momma's so old that even scientists get baffled about where she lived before Earth was created.

Hi, my name is Meer Adnan Hussain. I am a Muslim. I live in Karachi, an area of Pakistan. I want this job. I am interested in this work. Please take me in this work. Your porn star, Meer Adnan Hussain. Wait for your email. Okay.

What's the worst thing to say at a live birth?

"Hi guys, welcome to my unboxing video!"

Your mum's vagina is so ravenous, that last night we both ended up on the living room floor, with her on top. She was eating my creamy young face off.

Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.

Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.

I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.

I was lying on the living room carpet the other day with my girlfriend on top of me in wings and a tutu, making out.

I called her the Fallen Angel.

I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.

(Male fantasy)

Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.

I got knob cheesed after your sexy mom was on top, dry humping me on the vanilla-coloured living room carpet.

Raju: How about you, Sunil?

Do you know?

Sanju: Sunil is my long distance

is a brother.

Raju: Long brother?

Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.

Why was the rapper always happy?

Because he lived life on the rhyme side!

My live.

What do a mole and an eagle have in common?

They live underground, except for the eagle. Lol.

Why can't homeless people buy a house?

'Cause they live on the streets.