I know a little girl who once had an accident. When i asked her what her favorite song was she responded with "🎶head shoulders wheels and frame! Wheels and frame!🎶"
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screems when you out it in a blender and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race. What is the order of finish?
1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way. 2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind. 3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.
Me and my little brother were playing Call Of Duty. He wasn't doing very good, so I told him so. My brother said to me, "At least I don't have to camp in order to get kills." I then responded with, "I would call you cancer, but at least cancer kills."
I was on a plane and My mom said it just a little turbulence And I said Mom we just got on run way
Little Timmy walked in on his parents having sex. His parents look at him in fear. Little Timmy asks; "Mom, Dad, what are you doing?" The mom replies with, "We are playing house," "We'll will let you play when you're older, " The dad says. So the next day Timmy goes over to play with his friend Johnny. Who was ironically Timmy's neighbor. Johnny asks, "How was your sleep last night?" "I saw my mom and dad playing house last night," Timmy says. "But they told me I could play with them when I'm older." After a little bit of playing with Johnny, Timmy went home and saw his Dad playing house with his babysitter. "Dad, what are you doing?" Timmy asks. "I'm playing house with your babysitter," Timmy's Dad said. "But I saw you play house with Mom last night," Timmy told his father. "Well, don't tell your mother." His dad said.
A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says: "I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!"
The teacher asks her class, "What is sex?" and Little Jonny stands up and says, "Sex is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl's destination. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?" and the teacher fainted.
I bought my spoiled brother a trampoline for his birthday, But he decided to sit in his wheelchair like a little bitch
Mommy why is my name brick??? mom: When you were a little baby a feather dropped on your head. mommy why is my name rose??? mom: When you were a little baby a feather dropped on your head. Brick walks in "blagudnunag"
One little orphan had roast beef the other had none, One little orphan went to market the other stayed home wait a second.
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
Ex-Boy-Friend: You have no ass so we're through! Me: Stop being a dick head dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
A man walks over to a little boy and asks "Wanna see my tattoo of a bunny?" the little boy replies with "Yes please i love bunnies" The man proceeds to pull his pants down and said can you see it yet?" The little boy curious says "no where is it?" The man says "dig a little deeper he runs into the whole when he gets scared!"
Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”
Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”
Little Susie had gotten her first period. She told her mom and they bought pads. The next month, Susie's mom asked if she had her second one. Suzie said no and her mom fainted
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheese burgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through. So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress I guess :D
Why did the Chicken cross the road? You:Why? To get to the little b***h's house! Knock knock! You:Who's there? The chicken (this is more like a roast and a pun lol)
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day, and the teacher was talking about life. The teacher asked him, "Little Johnny, how do you want your wife to be like?" Little Johnny answered, "Like the moon." The teacher said, "That's such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful." Little Johnny replied, "No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning."
