Like jokes

An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.

Yo mama like a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everybody’s pants.

The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.

The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”

Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”

So the Pope slapped him.

What’s wrong with a gay bbq?

All the hotdogs taste like shit.

Why does Michael Jackson like to play ping pong or table tennis? He likes to play with the little balls.

What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's?

They both like to slide their meat between 10 year old buns.

My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

Dark jokes are like a new day. Suicidal people don't get it.

Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?

I’d really like to meter.

The twin towers are like genders, there used to be two of them.

Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.

Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has given him a brojob?

Because of the cream filling inside, just like the individually wrapped cakes of Hostess Twinkies.

How is spinach like anal sex?

If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.

1 like = 1 more orphan I dropkick.

A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."

So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."

I like my women like I like my coffee.

Dark, rich, and imported.

So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.

Dark humor is like food.

Not everyone gets it.

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.

After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!”

She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”

To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”