Light Bulb jokes
Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: 1 to actually change the light bulb and the other 98 to suck each others' cocks and shit like that.
How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
102, if you have some alive ones.
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
What did the lampshade say to the light bulb?
You brighten my day.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 cause my basement is still dark.
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two ;)
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Depends on how high your ceiling is.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.
Did you hear about the light bulb party? Yeah, it was pretty lit!
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.