Light Bulb jokes
How do I fix a broken light bulb? I don't. I simply blow up the house.
How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?
Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
What's the difference between a pregnant girl and a light bulb?
... You can unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a pregnant girl.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.
How many Senators fans does it take to change a light bulb?
All 3 of them.
Hockey for life!
How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?
To get to the other side.
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
Q: How many cops does it take to put in a light bulb? A: None, they just beat the room for being black. 😂😂😂
How many crack heads does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, there is no electricity.
These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.
And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!
What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?
They both light up the room.
How many orphans does it take to screw a light bulb in there house?
None because they don't have a home.
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for it being black.
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."