Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.
I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal. I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said "Well, when life gives you lemons!"
my life
kill me pls
life
vladimir putin is probably a homo-phobe because he has to go through life the name of a gay porn star
there was a man in a wheelchair and he got knocked out in front of a bus he had a wheelie good life.
ur life
i fucked your mom, that's why i've been paying your life support since you were born
Wanna here a joke??
My life
Your life
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
my life
One time, a cow saved my life. -- It was bovine intervention.
What did Earth say to the other planets? -- "You guys have no life!"
Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times, and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
The three unwritten rules of life:
1. 2. 3.
