Life jokes
What do you call an orphan home alone?
A family reunion.
I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!
My dad brought me some sunglasses, but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.
One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life.
You have an entire life being an idiot, why not take a day off?
Quote for the day.
I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.
"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."
Also, loving is so much more to give instead! Always remember to love!!! Best-Gwen :)
I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.
"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are actually picked.
Ammon died.
What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.
What's the cruelest joke?
Life.
What's the difference between oxygen and children? I don't have oxygen in my basement.
Imagine being an orphan. *kid beside me crying*
If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping, I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I’m a star! Because one of these days, I’m going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die, I’d be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I’m like the sun; I’m painful to look at.
If I was a food, I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I’m like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I’m like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it’s dried up, shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I’m like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I’m like the moon because as the month progresses, my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I’m like an extremely powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I’m like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I’m like a shitty book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can’t afford to go through with the divorce, and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape, but the more they try, the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety.
Help me...
I hate people that hate life.
Me at the same time: Is cutting self at night.
*hides scars* *acts like I'm fine* hehe
Q: Why are orphans so scared to get married?
A: They don't know what it feels like to have a family.
Why do we even live? We're just gonna die anyway, so what's the point?
Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?
So it can hang him.
what was Juice WRLD before he was famous?
Answer: alive.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't reach home.