Laundry jokes

What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?

Throw in your dirty laundry!

I ran out of bras, so I wore...

My grandma's underpants!

A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.

The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.

After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.

Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"

Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?

What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?

One of them is really loud when you iron it.

I was Gandalf the Grey.

But now, after just three washes...

What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.

What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.

Wife: I think these pants are getting too small for me!

Husband: Don't worry, maybe you are just bad at laundry.

I would rather do my own laundry, not my uncle's laundry, because I ain't no damn butler like Alfred from Batman. I don't live in no damn Batcave by Gotham tity.

What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?

I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.

I started beating my washing machine because it wasn't working, my wife started crying.

How do you know a woman is blind?

Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.

Why are washers better than babies?

Washers don't cry when you put a load in them.

I put a Dalmatian in a washing machine and killed him.

I ate a sock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.

What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants?

Michael Jackson's lipstick.

When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,

The present: Laundry.

*gunshot*

What goes in dry and comes out wet and has white stuff at the end?

What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.

What's a person with Down syndrome's favorite detergent?

Downy.