Knock knock. Who’s there? Gary. Gary who? Gary a torch.
Why was the Ethiopian baby crying?
It was having a mid-life crisis.
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"
The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."
I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"
Me: I’m going to get burrito 🌯
Friend: You can have my burrito baby.
Gay.
Friend: *begins to moan*
Me: Finna hang up.
These jokes are offensive. Stop!
It’s like going to the orphan and telling your mama jokes.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
Three women walk into a bar and start talking about how loose they are. One fits a sausage, another fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
Why was Timmy the only happy person in his family?
Timmy is dead.
There once were 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said, "This is disgusting!" and threw it out the window. The 2nd man bit into a banana and said, "This is rotten!" and he threw it out the window. The 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed, "ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT!" and he threw it out the window.
Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying. He replied, "An apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The police officer said, "That is weird," and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked, "Why are you crying?" and he answered, "A banana came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The officer said, "This has been a strange day." Then he sees a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said, while he was laughing, "My dad farted and the house blew up!"
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.
