Know jokes
Son said to father, "Last night was the best you and Mom..."
Father said, "Yeah, me, you, and your mother had sex."
Son said, "It was fun licking her pussy."
Father said, "I know it was fun when I sucked YOUR dick and your mother did. Did it feel good?"
Son said, "Yes, it was. Wanna do it again tomorrow?"
Father said, "YES BUT without your mom, we'll suck each other's dick and lick it and bite and shove each other's dick next to each other."
Son said, "Yeah, and if we do it again, let's have Mom and my girlfriend join next time."
Father said, "Ok, it's time to go to bed, son."
Son said, "Ok, love you, can you and Mom sleep with me without your clothes?"
Father said, "Ok, but you have to promise to go to bed."
Son said, "Ok, see you there." 💕👅👅👅💦💦💦💦💦💦🙈🙈💦💦💦💦💦
How do you know you are blessed by God?
You don’t laugh at, make light of, or enjoy the evils and suffering people are inflicting on themselves and upon each other.
F1, F2, F3, do you know what’s after F3?
- F4, F U, then last F U Q.
Hey, do you know why America sucks? We have the death penalty.
Hi, I have a question for you.
Did you know that reading this is wasting your time?
Yeah, sorry xD
Memes
A man is out west driving and on the edge of town comes across a tourist stand and sitting in front is an Indian chief right out of central casting. Dour look, full headdress, a glass jar and a sign that says "Indian chief know all! $5". So the fellow's curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the chief, puts $5 in the jar and asks "What did I have for breakfast on this day 10 years ago?" Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Hmmm eggs. You had eggs!"
"Eggs?" shouts the guy "Everybody has eggs! I've been had!" throws his hands in the air and leaves in a huff.
Ten years on, as fate would have it the fellow has occasion to be driving through the same town and sure enough he comes across the same stand, Indian chief, sign, and jar. So he stops the car and saunters across the road, goes up to the chief like a smart-ass, holds up his hand and says "How". Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Poached."
A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a failure because:
South Americans don’t know the word “please.”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”
Balkans don’t know the word “give.”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”
Africans don’t know the word “food.”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”
Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"
The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"
He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."
Me and my friends were talking. Then we started talking about our wives. I said, "So, I married a volcano for a wife. You never know when she will blow up."
I'm like dynamite, you'll never know when I explode.
Why can't an orphan suck my nut?
A girl can, one knows how.
What's the difference between an Al Qaeda Base and a Pakistani School?
"I don't know man, I just fly the drones."
Why do midgets have to wear a green bright jacket when crossing the road?
Because they will get turned into a pancake even more.
It's not funny, I know.
Why do Vampires like virgins?
Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.
Why can't orphans play softball?
Because they don't know where home base is.
Do you know what it takes to beat cancer?
Heartbeat.
Wanna know why Stephen Hawking died?
He lost his Wi-Fi connection.
You know the only way to win is you have to actually planet.
Kid 1: "Fortnite is good and Brawl Stars sucks!"
Me: Wow, I didn't know you were dyslexic.
Hi, I'm a skeleton and I know a skele-TON of jokes!