Know jokes

A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."

I hate two-faced people because I don’t know which face to slap first. :)

No one.

Why are priests called father?

I don’t know why.

Because calling them daddy is too suspicious.

At school I am always called emo.

Little did they know that emos are wannabe goths.

The police: Pull over!

The kid: Do you know who my dad is?

The police: What, your mom did not tell you?

What's the difference between a violinist and a dog?

The dog knows when to stop scratching.

Wanna know why people laugh at you? Because your life is a joke.

Why are orphans running around the world after the baseball coach said, "Go home"?

Because he didn’t know what the hell to do.

"Lock him up, you know, Trump!"

Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted!

Eminem: "He don't even know his own father." Orphans: Dang, wish I could listen to that. Eminem: At least you have a rap God to call father.

I don’t know any...

Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.

Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?

You know why Ted Cruz left Texas?

Because they never take a chill pill.

Awww, Gwen thinks she has a boyfriend! Oh wait, no you don't! She is just some loser ass bitch who could be a ho, you don't know. He was mine, and I want him back!

My sister: See you at home in about an hour.

Me: Okay.

My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*

Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?

Sister: OMG, she's dead!

Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?

Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?

Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.

Farmer's Wife: Why?

Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.

Yo mama so stupid, she couldn't comment on this website because she didn't know the 2x4 check!

Dear Kenya, I am very sorry for how rude I was to you. I just want you to know that I'm on your side and I'll never do it again. - Sincerely, Gwen

I want to die to see the other side, but if I die I won't know anybody on the other side.