Newest Kitchen Jokes - Page 3

Me: walks over to the kitchen to
drink something
The person who pushed my
wheelchair for 18 years:

1 like = 1 fetus donated to the soup kitchen

How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing? Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.

1 like = 1 more child in my fryer

My mom asks "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK-"

I took my girlfriend to a Chinese Restaraunt. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what is going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.

:)

THE IDEA THAT WOMEN ONLY BELONG IN THE
KITCHEN IS OFFENSIVE
THE REST OF THE HOUSE NEEDS TO BE
CLEANED TOO!
***

There's a one story house everything's yellow even the kitchen living room and bedrooms what colour is the stairs

hi

uj

NO, I HAVEN'T SEEN YOUR PILLS....
BUT HAVE YOU SEEN THE
DRAGONS IN THE KITCHEN?
www.Facebook.com/Archeo opti

wo(man) fe(male) we(men)

dishwash(her)

What’s the difference between a puppy and a fork?

I don’t microwave forks

orphan- am going to see my mom in the kitchen because they are always in there

orphan-realizes

2 women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement. Emma turns to Jane and says "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"

Jane replies with "I burnt to death."

Emma, shocked, responds with "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"

Jane answers with "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"r> Emma replies with "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."

Jane retorts with "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."

Yes

While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!” Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. “That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad. Later that evening as Johnny’s mother cooks dinner, a cockroach runs across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, “Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?”