Kids jokes

I got detention for giving an emo kid a glow stick... I tried to lighten his spirit.

I was walking down the hallway at my job when I saw a kid crying.

I asked him where his parents were, and he kept crying.

Man, I love working at the orphanage.

I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.

What did the blind kid say after touching the emo kid’s hand?

“I ain’t reading all that.”

What does gum in my d*ck have in common?

Both get chewed on by little kids.

Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.

What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?

Van Halen's "Jump."

This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"

How many kids does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them. 😂😂😂😂

Hello guys, imagine if we had no school and we get to do whatever we want without parents telling us what to do! What place would you want to call it and what would the fun things we get to do be? I would call it "Happy world for kids." Leave a comment telling me what it would be called! Enjoy! :)

Man: Hey kids, who wants milk?

Kids: Me!

Man: *unzips fly*

I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.

How do you make epileptic kids dance?

Throw a flash bang in their room.

Boy, your momma so ugly she’s denied from the homeless parties in the dumpster.

Quiet kid, your momma so funny she made a joke pop out her a*s.

What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.

If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.

If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.

Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?

He was always tardy.

Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”

Kid: “Whatever!”

Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”

Kid: “Doesn't matter!”

Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”

Kid: “Oh well!”

Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”

Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”

Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.

Wanna hear a joke? My life! Hahahah! Just kidding, jokes actually mean something...