Kids jokes
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
Why did KFC take orphan?
Because kids fattening center.
Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
What did the kids say hi to? A slide.
I met a kid at the park. He was holding a picture of his parents in his hands. They had died on 9/11.
So, I went to comfort him. I said, "Hey, I lost my grandpa on 9/11. He was great. At flying a plane."
What did the blind kid say after touching the emo kid’s hand?
“I ain’t reading all that.”
What do you call a stoned kid with Down syndrome?
A baked potato.
What do you call an annoying emo kid?
A nuisance.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
Hello guys, imagine if we had no school and we get to do whatever we want without parents telling us what to do! What place would you want to call it and what would the fun things we get to do be? I would call it "Happy world for kids." Leave a comment telling me what it would be called! Enjoy! :)
Man: Hey kids, who wants milk?
Kids: Me!
Man: *unzips fly*
I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.
Boy, your momma so ugly she’s denied from the homeless parties in the dumpster.
Quiet kid, your momma so funny she made a joke pop out her a*s.
What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".
So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"