Kids jokes

I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.

This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"

How many kids does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them. 😂😂😂😂

Hello guys, imagine if we had no school and we get to do whatever we want without parents telling us what to do! What place would you want to call it and what would the fun things we get to do be? I would call it "Happy world for kids." Leave a comment telling me what it would be called! Enjoy! :)

What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.

Man: Hey kids, who wants milk?

Kids: Me!

Man: *unzips fly*

I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.

If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.

If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.

Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?

He was always tardy.

Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”

Kid: “Whatever!”

Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”

Kid: “Doesn't matter!”

Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”

Kid: “Oh well!”

Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”

Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”

Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?

To get them into his van.

Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.

Wanna hear a joke? My life! Hahahah! Just kidding, jokes actually mean something...

Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?

Kid: AK!

Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿‍♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻

I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.

All of you guys in this orphanage are ABCDEFGHIJK.

What's that? said the orphans.

Attractive, brilliant, cute, darling, elegant, funny, gorgeous, and hot.

What's the IJK?

I'm just kidding! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

What’s the difference between drugs and kids?

I don’t do drugs.

There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.

I went up to the depressed kid and said, "I like ya cuts G!"

We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.