Kids jokes
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
Why do emo kids not get phones? Because the phone dies before them.
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂
Remember kids, if ever you're bored, kick an orphan.
Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
This keeps getting better have a GREAT DAY
I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.
They said: "Because I lost my parents."
I said: "Let's find them."
They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Why do kids want to become cops? They want to find the guy who touched them.
What are the differences between Santa and Joe Biden?
The kids actually want to sit on Santa’s lap.
Man: Could you hold this for me?
Kid: Ok mister! I love playing with a pew pew! Pow! Pew! Pew! Bang! *GUNSHOT*
Man: Dammit, now who am I gonna put in the van?!
It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.
The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not your dad."
Then he says, "What comes after 47?"
The quiet kid says, "AK."
Why does the emo kid skip class?
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
There was this emo kid giving a high five to a tree... but the tree left them hanging :)
What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?
Do you want to hang later?
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
When the school shooter breaks into the classroom, and you look at your friend because it's the kid you predicted.
I'm telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution.
I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.