Kids jokes
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?
A human chandelier.
Asian kid: I’m not a doctor, and I’m not good at math.
Me: That’s what I call an orphan!
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't let your kids next to Prince Andrew.
Why does the kid in the wheelchair get bullied all the time?
Because he can’t stand up for himself.
A bully walks up to a kid named Billy to insult him and steal his lunch money.
Later that night when he is at home, the bully’s father comes into his room to insult him and take the lunch money he stole.
The father walks down stair to check on his father in the living room. When he walks in, his father insults him and takes the lunch money.
The grandfather of the bully walks into the back yard and in the dark is Billy. The grandfather walks up to him and says “Where’s my money, you worthless old fart?”
Wanna know who can jump the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.
Why do some kids only experience 364 days per year?
Because they don't have a Father's Day.
I remember when I was a kid, I thought the world used to be colorless.
I was kinda right. They used to not let colors in a lot of areas.
What do you think would fall to the ground first, an emo kid or a leaf?
The leaf. The rope would stop the emo kid.
Why are orphans very abusive to their kids?
Because they never had loving parents of their own.
Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?
Kid goes to the kitchen.
Mom: What are you doing here?
Kid: Just checking out the knife.
Mom: So you've chosen death.
What does Michael Jackson and maths have in common? They're both hard for kids.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
I pushed the kid in the wheelchair down the hill, but before I did, I set his wheels on fire and called him "hot wheels."
Once, there was a kid named Cale, but his classmates didn’t know it was spelled with a “C,” so they asked him if he could be their snack.
Is it okay to call a special ed kid late to class a little tardy?
Little Johnny was late to class. The teacher asked him where he was. Little Johnny said, "I was on top of Marry Hill." Then a kid comes late to class and also said he was on Marry Hill. Then a little girl that's about 4 or 5 comes in. The teacher asks, "Who are you?" She said, "I'M MARRY HILL!"