Kids jokes
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
Why is that kid walking like that? Oh, he's an alter boy.
I'm telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution.
I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.
Why do kids want to become cops? They want to find the guy who touched them.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who plays basketball?
Dribble.
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."
Man: Could you hold this for me?
Kid: Ok mister! I love playing with a pew pew! Pow! Pew! Pew! Bang! *GUNSHOT*
Man: Dammit, now who am I gonna put in the van?!
Why does the emo kid skip class?
What is something that makes you wish you were dead, rips your skin off, is small, can wear you out in two seconds, betray you in any way possible, and can eat you alive?
Kid's.
How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.
What do kids play when they can't play with a phone?
Bored games.
What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?
Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They roll a coin down the staircase and it says, "Ching chang chong..."
An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"
And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"
"Why?" says the bully.
"Because you haven't got a tower."
How are an emo kid and a hanging child the same?
Depends on who's hanging.
I went up to the depressed kid and said, "I like ya cuts G!"
When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.