Kids jokes

What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.

What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?

Sexy kids.

Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?

He was always tardy.

Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”

Kid: “Whatever!”

Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”

Kid: “Doesn't matter!”

Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”

Kid: “Oh well!”

Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”

Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”

Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?

To get them into his van.

Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.

Wanna hear a joke? My life! Hahahah! Just kidding, jokes actually mean something...

Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?

Kid: AK!

Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿‍♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻

If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.

If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.

I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.

All of you guys in this orphanage are ABCDEFGHIJK.

What's that? said the orphans.

Attractive, brilliant, cute, darling, elegant, funny, gorgeous, and hot.

What's the IJK?

I'm just kidding! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

What’s the difference between drugs and kids?

I don’t do drugs.

What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?

They both shoot when they see kids.

Mom: Can I tell you a joke?

Kid: Sure.

Mom: Knock knock.

Kid: Who's there?

Mom: Not yo.

Kid: Not yo who?

Mom: Not yo father.

Kid: Not yo husband either.

What falls to the ground first if an apple and an emo kid fall from a tree?

The apple because the rope caught the emo kid.

What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?

He couldn't even open it.

We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.

Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.

I went up to the depressed kid and said, "I like ya cuts G!"

There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.