Kids jokes

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.

It never gets old.

Me: "I like kids."

Sadly, blind jokes are cruel. A kid at my school was punched the other day for being blind.

Sadly, he didn't see it coming.

Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?

'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.

What do apples and depressed kids have in common?

They both hang on trees.

Why do emo kids not jump?

They're still in the sky.

A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."

I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.

What does Michael Jackson and a TV have in common? They both get turned on by kids.

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.

Why don’t cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids don’t like vegetables.

What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?

Knock knock. Who's there? A boy. A boy who? A boy who can't reach the doorbell knocking at your door.

Yo mama's so ugly, even the kid in the wheelchair ran.

Kid: Dad, where are you going?

Dad: To get milk.

TEN YEARS LATER

Kid's friend: Where's your dad?

Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.

What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?

The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.

It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.

ssssssssssss

I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.

The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"

The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"

The school shooter: "I don't know."

The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."