Kids jokes

What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?

Answer: He was left there hanging.

Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?

Kids: Because you're a psycho path.

What did the kids say hi to? A slide.

I threw a lamp at a depressed kid and tried to brighten up his day.

The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.

I walked into an orphanage and a kid was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said some kids were bullying him. I told him to go tell his parents.

I got sent to the principal's office after telling the kid in the wheelchair to do a wheelie.

How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.

This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"

How many kids does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them. 😂😂😂😂

Hello guys, imagine if we had no school and we get to do whatever we want without parents telling us what to do! What place would you want to call it and what would the fun things we get to do be? I would call it "Happy world for kids." Leave a comment telling me what it would be called! Enjoy! :)

What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.

Man: Hey kids, who wants milk?

Kids: Me!

Man: *unzips fly*

I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.

How do you make epileptic kids dance?

Throw a flash bang in their room.

Boy, your momma so ugly she’s denied from the homeless parties in the dumpster.

Quiet kid, your momma so funny she made a joke pop out her a*s.

If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.

If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.

Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?

He was always tardy.

Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”

Kid: “Whatever!”

Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”

Kid: “Doesn't matter!”

Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”

Kid: “Oh well!”

Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”

Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”

Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.