Kids jokes
Hate me all you want, but I rather love bullying in all fairness. I love to watch all the loner kids being abused while simultaneously making a prediction for when which one of them will finally snap and shoot up the school.
Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"
Why did the lil kid cut himself?
Answer: Because he was emo, HAHHHAHAHAHAAHHA!
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
Bully: Have you ever heard of a brain?
Stupid kid: No.
Bully: You should go get one!
Stupid kid: Wwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
What's the difference between an emo kid and an onion?
You cry when you cut an onion.
Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!
Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!
The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.
The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?
What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?
Van Halen's "Jump."
What do orphans and blind kids have in common: They both can't see their parents.
Kid: Why do orphans like tennis?
Dad: Because it's the only time they get "love."
Two boys were playing cards on a picnic table outside the school. Both of the boys had revolvers hidden in their waistband.
Now, one of the boys was a notorious cheater, who liked to hide his cards in his waistband. Recess was just about to end, when all the kids heard a loud bang erupt from the picnic table. In tears, the card player admitted that he had shot the other card player, stating "I played a King, and he started reaching for his waistband!"
A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."
Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"
Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."
My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"
Fat kid jumps in the pool.
The popular girl: "I thought there was going to be a tsunami."
The fat kid: "I thought trash was not supposed to be in the ocean."
You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.
What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?
Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.
I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.
I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!
What would a tree do if a depressed kid tried to high five it?
I would leave them hanging.