Kids Jokes

Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!

This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"

How many kids does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them. 😂😂😂😂

Hello guys, imagine if we had no school and we get to do whatever we want without parents telling us what to do! What place would you want to call it and what would the fun things we get to do be? I would call it "Happy world for kids." Leave a comment telling me what it would be called! Enjoy! :)

What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.

I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.

Man: Hey kids, who wants milk?

Kids: Me!

Man: *unzips fly*

What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?

Sexy kids.

Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”

Kid: “Whatever!”

Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”

Kid: “Doesn't matter!”

Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”

Kid: “Oh well!”

Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”

Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”

Why did the homeless man stop to help the kids cross the street?

To get them into his van.

Kids are like a box of chocolates, they taste so good and you never know what you are going to get.

Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?

Kid: AK!

Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿‍♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻

Wanna hear a joke? My life! Hahahah! Just kidding, jokes actually mean something...

Why are Captain from SpongeBob and Michael Jackson so similar?

They both say, "Are you ready, kids?"

Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?

Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂

If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.

If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.

I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.

Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?

He was always tardy.

All of you guys in this orphanage are ABCDEFGHIJK.

What's that? said the orphans.

Attractive, brilliant, cute, darling, elegant, funny, gorgeous, and hot.

What's the IJK?

I'm just kidding! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

What’s the difference between drugs and kids?

I don’t do drugs.