Kids jokes
Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.
I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
When you ask an orphan to come over:
Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"
Orphan: "Yeah, sure."
Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."
Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.
Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.
Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.
Who can jump the highest?
Emo kids, some are still in the air.
Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism?
Teacher: What?
Boy: Well... never mind, he's well supported.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
What does a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn!
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they all sit in the dark.
I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
Why do emo kids hate high fives?
They’re always left hanging.
Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.
Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."
"Really?" asked a little girl.
"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."
Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.
The one thing I love about Steven is he stood up for all of his haters. Just kidding!
I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"
He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"
"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.