Kids jokes

What does gum in my d*ck have in common?

Both get chewed on by little kids.

What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...

How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?

He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

Oh wait, I'm thinking of...

I met a kid at the park. He was holding a picture of his parents in his hands. They had died on 9/11.

So, I went to comfort him. I said, "Hey, I lost my grandpa on 9/11. He was great. At flying a plane."

What do you call an annoying emo kid?

A nuisance.

What do emo kids like to smoke?

"Marjuanakillmyself."

I threw a lamp at a depressed kid and tried to brighten up his day.

If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.

What did John Cena say to the blind kid? "You can't see me."

Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!

Officer: You OK, kid?

Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.

Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*

When officer leaves:

Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?

What in the world jumps the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.

What does Joe Biden call a room full of kids? A toy room.

Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.

I asked a emo kid if they wanna hang out.

When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.

But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!

What did the parent say to Michael Jackson?

"Get off my kid!"

There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...

I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.

What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?

Van Halen's "Jump."