Kids jokes

If a homeschooled kid kills his parents, is it considered a school shooting?

How do you name a Chinese kid?

Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"

"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.

“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.

Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!

What do blind kids and orphans have in common?

They can't see their family.

I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were, and he started crying more.

Anyway, working at an orphanage is fun.

I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.

Kid says to genie,

"I want to be like Batman!"

Kid goes home, both of them are dead.

"Thank God there are no of these ahahha ya thank God to pranks."

"Oh I forgot a dance 🕺 😅 joke is good ok for kids."

A leaf and a depressed kid fall from a building. Which hits the ground first?

The leaf, the rope stops the depressed kid.

Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?

They ate the bat!

I saw a kid with no phone. I gave him an iPhone 14.

Except it had no home button.

If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?

Kid walks in the door. "Mommy and Daddy, I'm home." Mommy and Daddy meanwhile in their room moaning. Kid runs to them thinking they're hurt and sees something he definitely shouldn't have.

10 minutes later, [he] kills himself.

Where's is the candy, sir???

Over there.

(kid steps in van)

I don't see any candy.

What did the blind kid get for his birthday?

I don't know, he still didn't look.

What falls first, an apple or an Emo kid?

An apple, because the Emo has a rope holding them.

The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"

The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"

The school shooter: "I don't know."

The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."

Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?

It was the Happy Meal.

You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.

What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?

Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.