Kids jokes

I hate adopted kids. They are ugly and stupid, lmao.

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.

Sorry for this Pick Up Line.

Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11, so let me put my plane in and let kids fall out.

What is an emo kid's favorite game?

Hangman.

There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.

A man has the power to grant anyone a wish they want.

A kid comes up and says, "I want to be like Batman!"

The man smiles and grants his wish. The child goes home and finds that he is now an orphan.

Do emo kids get jealous of their phone when it dies?

What did the tree say to the kid with the rope?

Nothing, he was hanging.

Me vs. the emo kid: we go to high-five a tree. I get a high five; the emo kid is left hanging.

What does Michael Jackson and maths have in common? They're both hard for kids.

Mom: Can I tell you a joke?

Kid: Sure.

Mom: Knock knock.

Kid: Who's there?

Mom: Not yo.

Kid: Not yo who?

Mom: Not yo father.

Kid: Not yo husband either.

What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.

Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?

Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.

Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?

Orphan: About 200 years.

A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"

I got in trouble today because I threw a lamp at the emo kid and said, "Lighten up!"

I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.

A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.

What do you call a horde of Autistic kids?

A zombie Apocalypse!

Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh🧟

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs?

Names.

Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?

They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.