Kids jokes
This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.
Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.
What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine.
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
When the kid in the wheelchair scares you... you wheelie scared me.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.
What's the similarities between dark humor and cancer?
It's funnier when kids get it.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a cutting board?
If a homeschooled kid kills his parents, is it considered a school shooting?
How do you name a Chinese kid?
Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their family.
I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were, and he started crying more.
Anyway, working at an orphanage is fun.
I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.
Kid says to genie,
"I want to be like Batman!"
Kid goes home, both of them are dead.
"Thank God there are no of these ahahha ya thank God to pranks."
"Oh I forgot a dance 🕺 😅 joke is good ok for kids."
A leaf and a depressed kid fall from a building. Which hits the ground first?
The leaf, the rope stops the depressed kid.
Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?
They ate the bat!
I saw a kid with no phone. I gave him an iPhone 14.
Except it had no home button.
If a kid doesn't take their nap, doesn't that mean they are resisting arrest?