Kids jokes
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.
Apparently, as a 4-year-old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.
Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.
Elmo: Welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia.
Dude: Why are we close to Disneyland?
Kid: I don't know.
Elmo: Rule 1, you must not tell the forests or Bob Iger about us.
Meanwhile, Officer: Come on, Elmo, you're going to prison.
*Officer arrests Elmo*
Elmo: But who wants tickles?
What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.
I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.
How do you get a depressed kid out of a tree? You cut the rope.
Why do kids like to pick on orphans?
Because they can't call their parents.
What does an emo kid say to his best friend?
"Let's hang out."
That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”
Oh, Lois, that was more scary than Michael Jackson without pants in front of a kid!
Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.
I got sent to the principal's office after telling the kid in the wheelchair to do a wheelie.
I walked into an orphanage and a kid was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said some kids were bullying him. I told him to go tell his parents.
College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.
I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."
1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?
I threw a dodgeball at a blind kid and got him out... guess I can say he didn't see it coming!