Kids jokes

Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.

Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!

Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!

Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!

The depressed kid went to give a tree a high five...

...but it left him hanging.

Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.

My school is on fire today, and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted, "Hot Wheels!"

What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?

They're both turned on by kids.

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  • In the morning at 6:30 AM,

    Teacher: Who fought in World War I?

    Me: Trump & Biden.

    Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.

    After school,

    Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.

    "She looks at her clock."

    Teacher: And now I am sewed.