Kids jokes
Brits don't exist. Mummies can't have kids.
One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.
Some kid with parents: "Knock, knock."
Orphan: "Who's there?"
Some kid with parents: "Not your parents."
I bet a disabled kid on a wheelchair that if he could catch me, I'd give him 1000 dollars. He said deal, and I went upstairs.
What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?
They both couldn't make it all the way.
Kid in 2021: I'm goated at hide and seek.
Anne Frank: I am the hide and seek champion of the world.
I was in school yesterday and I saw this emo kid with a new cut, so I said, "I like ya cut g." And I slapped him. I don't know why I got in so much trouble. All I did was slap his wrist.
Why does a kid yell, "Shit?"
Because he had to take one.
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
What did the dad say to the kid?
Nothing, he went to get the milk.
The teacher said she made the kids guess what a random word was, and it was honey. She also gave them a sample of honey to make it a little easier.
Teacher said that it was something that you eat and what parents call each other. Little Johnny said, "I know what it is now! Spit them out now guys, their Buttholes!"
P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?
P2: I don't know.
P1: Wow, you sick fuck!
I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.
What happens when an emo kid tries to high-five you? You leave him hanging.
What is the difference between a kid's dad and his cancer?
The cancer came back.
Kid: You're so fat!
Other kid: At least fat can be changed, but your ugly face can't be.
What happens when a depressed kid try’s to high-five a tree?
The tree leaves them hanging.
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
People keep telling me they hope Kenny never has kids.
I don't think that's a worry. His mom is much too old to get pregnant.
What’s the difference between a kid with cancer and a dark humor joke?
They never get old.