Newest Ketchup Jokes - Page 2

What did the tomato say to the empty Ketchup bottle "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME"

Ketchup with me you are to slow

two hotdogs are walking accros the street one is walking slow what dose the 2 one say ketchup

why there is a 76 button on a bottle of ketchup?

to bring sweet luck

Why is a ketchup bottle like a kid cause their like squirt(squirt ketchup)

i dont even like ketchup so it stays stinky

suck on a finger once bite it of taste it put some ketchup on it wait im making a mess i bit it off!!!

🥫Wewo wewo stop right now or we will be Forsted to stop you are self. No not like you can ketchup!

my dog went threw my bathroom garbage and for some reason my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...

I asked my mom to make me a brat she was sleepy but is said do it anyway my mom and my dad had fucked last night so he was on the couch but naked she took a knife and sliced his dick then put it on a bun then ketchup and mustard i said this tasted funny she was snoring the i threw it and said EW IS THIS A DICK WHAT THE FUCK AHHH!!!!?!?!!!! *ever since that day they haven't fucked again because he aint got nun to fuck with*

what did the mustard say to the ketchup quit running so fast let me KETCHUP to you.

if we get this to 1000 dislikes, I will do TWO joking keggars on Halloween.

So what are you waiting for? Hit the button idiot.

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

Other jokes:

1. Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing.

2. What did the elephant ask the naked man? How do you breathe out of that thing?

3. How do you make your husband scream during sex? Call him and let him hear it.

4. Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She outgrew her b-shells!

5. How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.

6. What does one boob say to the other boob? If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.

7. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A man will actually search for a golf ball.

8. What did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball? She gagged.