So a retarded kids mom drops her kid off at school and says “you better stop the bus today because I’m not picking you up” and so he agrees and he arrives at the bus stop and says “stop” (in a retarded voice) and the bus goes straight past him the next day the mom says the same thing and the kid goes to the bus stop and says “stop” (in a retarded voice) and the bus goes straight past him the third day his mom says “I don’t care if have to jump out in the middle of the road you better stop that bus” so the kid goes to bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says “Stop!” The bus driver runs over him a nearby lady stops the bus and says “why’d you run that poor kid over” and he responds “‘cause he was making fun of me” (in a retarded voice)
How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? – All of them, skyscrapers can’t jump.
When was the only time you could see people base jump without a parachute? 2001/9/11
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold lake Campground and he jumped into it, without any warning, and so I asked him Wat-er you doing
This is a joke about Ms. Ploopatoink, a made-up character who is a pink fluffy pony who loves toilet paper.
Why is Ms. Ploopatoink like a toilet plunger? They both jump in the toilet!
Dad there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig and then I made pulled pork out of him
Son he is dinner
What does the cannibal say when he jumps into the pool
CANNONBALL P.s I made this myself
Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his whistle and blew his horse
your forhead is so big you can jump without getting hurt
YO MAMA SO FAT, NASA USED HER STOMACH TO JUMP TO URANUS IN SECONDS . 🍐🍆
How many people can jump higher than a mountain? None. Mountains can’t jump.
5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed one fell off and bumped his head momma called the doctor and the doctor said… “Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?”
Sally jumped out a plane, She forgot her parachute!
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky Knock knock
Why are there no Olympics in Mexico?
Because everyone from Mexico that can run, jump, and swim is already over the border.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says “Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die.” The man from France said, “bring me the poison.” The man from Britain said, “bring me the gun” And the man from New York said, “bring me a gun as well!” The guy was confused but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, “for the France!” And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “long live the queen!” And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started shotting and laughing like a mad man and said. 3 men lived through this and one said to the others, “Well…sh!# that didn’t go as planned.”
Why do female para-chutist’s have to wear tampon’s before they jump ?
So they don’t whistle on the way down !
Chesley, in horror, runs out of the cockpit of the plane coming from London, "I’m so very sorry everyone, I punch the wrong buttons and we are heading to DC instead of New York and we are about to run out of fuel. He opens the door and turns around to the five passengers and exclaimed, “I’ve parachutes but miscounted. We only got four for the passengers.” He jumps off.
Donald faced the other four and orders:
“I’m the greatest leader of the world and I’ll make the decision. Tony you go first, our country needs you. The whole wide world needs you. Pandemic is raging.” Tony jumps off.
Francis,my friend, you go next, pandemic is ravaging the mind and body of millions. Their soul needs saving. Save Vladimir’s and Xi’s for me." Francis jumps off.
Hillary faced faced Donald furiously. “Who are you to make decisions for us? I should have been president. I’m the smartest woman in the whole world in history.” Hillary jumps off.
Donald gazed at the young woman and started talking: “I’m an old man. I have already lived a full life - beautiful wives, children just a beautiful life. Just beautiful. I’ve become president of the most powerful country, the most beautiful, the richest. Regrets? I’ve made a few but did it my way. Greta, go on. Your future is bright. I just wish I can make my country great again and have the chance to help save the world with you. I believe in second chances. Look at my bankruptcies, believe me. And I wish I’ve played more golf and …”
Greta interrjected, “Just shut the f* up. The plane is about to crash. Let’s go and save the world. The smartest woman in history took my backpack!”
What did the cookie say when he jumped off the cliff? Crumbs ha ha!
Kat what I did a cat jump over the road because he believes he came flying in the clouds Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah so funniest kitten kitten kitten kidding is my last time ofDo you Joooooooooooooooooooooookin
Why did the cliff feel offended? Because George jumped OFF. ENDED his life. (I’m sorry…No I’m not)