Jump jokes

What makes sad people jump? A bridge.

Why did the orphan like to jump? So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with their parents.

1 like = 10 more orphans in my basement.

What do you say before you jump off a building?

Parkour!

Friend: Want to play Fall Guys?

Friend 2: Yup.

Friend: Ok, so let me ju- wait, where are you going?

Friend 2: I'm gonna jump off.

Friend: Why?

Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?

Which way did the cow jump over the moon?

- The Milky Way!

Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."

Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.

How do you make an emo jump?

A cliff.

Q: What makes depressed kids jump?

A: Bridges.

My friend said he wanted to die, and I told him not to jump. But when he screamed, "Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!" I knew it was over.

A hot girl wants to commit suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly, smelly, homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says, "Hey you hot babe, let's fuck." She just answers, "Get the fuck away you ugly bastard." The guy just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."

I'm gonna jump to my death.

Don't worry. I won't jump far.

Just off this chair here...

Scientists say I'm made up of 75% of water.

But after jumping in the ocean, it's 100%, just like my depression.

I have a dog named Syndrome.

But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"

How do you get an emo kid to jump?

A bridge.

A grasshopper jumps into a bar.

The bartender says, "We've got a drink named after you."

The grasshopper says, "Seriously? Why would you name a drink Callum?"

What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?

I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she took a bath, the water jumped out.

A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.

“Super Power Beer,” he says.

“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”

Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage whatsoever. He walks back into the bar.

“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof — and falls 15 stories to the ground.

Splat.

The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”

what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.