What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
Which way did the cow jump over the moon? - The MILKY way!!!
Friend: Want to play Fall Guys?
Friend 2: Yup.
Friend: Ok, so let me ju- wait, where are you going?
Friend 2: I'm gonna jump off.
Friend: Why?
Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?
Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the water, the whales started singing "We are a family, even though you fatter than me."
A beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit suicide.
A homeless man walks by her and says, "What are you doing?"
She says, "I'm going to jump!"
The homeless man says, "If you're going to kill yourself, do you wanna have sex with me first?"
The woman replies, "No way, creep! Never that!"
The homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says, "That's fine, I'll just wait 'til you're at the bottom."
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.
How do you make an emo jump?
A cliff.
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
Q: What makes depressed kids jump?
A: Bridges.
My friend said he wanted to die, and I told him not to jump. But when he screamed, "Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!" I knew it was over.
Scientists say I'm made up of 75% of water.
But after jumping in the ocean, it's 100%, just like my depression.
I'm gonna jump to my death.
Don't worry. I won't jump far.
Just off this chair here...
A grasshopper jumps into a bar.
The bartender says, "We've got a drink named after you."
The grasshopper says, "Seriously? Why would you name a drink Callum?"
What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
I have a dog named Syndrome.
But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"
A hot girl wants to commit suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly, smelly, homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says, "Hey you hot babe, let's fuck." She just answers, "Get the fuck away you ugly bastard." The guy just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
Yo mama is so ugly, when she took a bath, the water jumped out.
A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.
“Super Power Beer,” he says.
“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”
Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage whatsoever. He walks back into the bar.
“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof — and falls 15 stories to the ground.
Splat.
The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
