Jump jokes

Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.

Ever heard the saying white people can’t jump??

Well, I think that’s total bullshit. You should have seen us on 9/11!

5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"

Emos love jumping for joy.

"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.

So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"

What do us emos all have in common?

Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."

I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"

Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed from a gorilla jumping off a tall building?

It was called Fall-adelphia.

What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"

Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?

Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.

Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?

Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.

A guy jumped out of the Twin Towers, saying, "I ordered pepperoni pizza, not a plane!"

Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?

Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.

You're so fat, when you jumped, the whole planet wiggled.

I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.

Yo mama is so ugly that not even the Socs wanted to jump her.

You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.

What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?

One does it for the cash, the other for the views.

"Dream, yo mama so ugly, when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out!"

Yo mama so fat, when she jumps, NASA says a meteor hits Earth.