Jump jokes

5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"

What do us emos all have in common?

Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."

Emos love jumping for joy.

"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.

So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"

Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed from a gorilla jumping off a tall building?

It was called Fall-adelphia.

So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.

I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"

What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"

Your mama is so fat that when she jumped, they found water on Mars.

You're so fat, when you jumped, the whole planet wiggled.

Yo mama is so ugly that not even the Socs wanted to jump her.

You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.

What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?

One does it for the cash, the other for the views.

Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?

Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.

I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.

You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.

"Dream, yo mama so ugly, when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out!"

My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?

Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.

When Peter Pan jumped off the Twin Towers, what happened? He Neverland.