Jump jokes
I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"
So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.
Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed from a gorilla jumping off a tall building?
It was called Fall-adelphia.
What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"
What do us emos all have in common?
Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."
Emos love jumping for joy.
You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.
My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.
You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.
Yo mama so fat...
That when she used a jump rope... Every time she jumped caused a giant cataclysm!
Yo mamma so dumb that she jumped off a building after drinking Red Bull.
I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.
"Bugger off!" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.
"Dream, yo mama so ugly, when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out!"
Yo mama so fat, when she jumps, NASA says a meteor hits Earth.
Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?
Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.
When Peter Pan jumped off the Twin Towers, what happened? He Neverland.
Why do emos love jumping in water?
Because it involves a rope.
I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.
How do you communicate to the dead?
Jump up and down on the ground and speak in Morse code!
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.