I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.
What is an orphan's least favorite store?
Family Dollar, they just can’t seem to find one.
What do you call a Chinese man in the summer heat? Boi Ling.
What can jump higher than a basketball player?
An emo kid, they never touch the ground.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?
"That is very Wong."
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.