Joke jokes
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
You pull the pin and throw it back!
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
What’s the only plus for someone who burns to death?
They get a discount at the crematorium.
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
"You have to be more patient!" "Will it take a long time?"
What's a joke that an orphan has never heard before?
A dad joke.
Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.
What did the blind kid say after touching the emo kid’s hand?
“I ain’t reading all that.”
What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise?
The dead hang.
What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...
Michael Phelps can finish a race.
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.
Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.
When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
What do you call AG?
A beta male.
What do you call a group of emo people?
"The Suicide Squad."
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.