Joke jokes
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
Jokes about ISIS are all about the execution.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He's all right now.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
Why did the egg hide? It was a little chicken!
Why did the egg hide?
Because it was a little chicken!
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady? You can unscrew a lightbulb.
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
Yo mama is so ugly her hairline is receding just to get away from her face.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
What did one man say to his friend who had a receding hairline?
He said, “Hey, friend, I can see that your head definitely has a brighter future than mine.”
You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.
What’s another name for nutting in a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.
You're not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.