Joke jokes
What did the blind kid say after touching the emo kid’s hand?
“I ain’t reading all that.”
What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise?
The dead hang.
What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...
Michael Phelps can finish a race.
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.
Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.
When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
What do you call AG?
A beta male.
What do you call a group of emo people?
"The Suicide Squad."
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).
Kid #1: You're adopted.
Kid #2: At least they wanted me.
Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?
What was the scariest thing Helen Keller ever read?
The waffle iron.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
[pause] You said you’d never forget.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
(Note: this joke is not one of the worst jokes ever because it is obscene or offensive; it’s just a bad joke.) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they’re dead.
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
I am an Indian joke.
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.