Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?
Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.
Joke Jokes
I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."
What do you call a flat-chested depressed person?
A cutting board.
Your life can't be a joke; a joke has meaning.
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.
What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?
The cat says "me toooo!"
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Boo.
"Boo who?"
It's just a joke, no need to cry!
I would tell you a recycling joke.
But I’m afraid it’d just be reused over and over.
What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?
Names.
You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.
What do you call an emo that likes pizza? A pizza cutter.
Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be water melon.
What do you call a mouse with sneakers?
Squeakers!
Your Mom so fat that she went on to commit suicide, but the roof fell off.....
My dog once went to Uranus. 🐶🤣🤣🤣
You know, because dogs sniff Uranus? 😂😂😂
What is an orphan's least favorite show? “How I Met Your Mother.”
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.
I know I'm valuable.
I come with a barcode.
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Deez.
Deez who?
Deez nuts!
I could be red, I could be orange, I could be yellow, I could be green, I could be blue, I could be purple, but I would be dead.
