Joke jokes
Why do asscheeks make great friends?
They always stick together!
What did the ass say to the joke?
"You crack me up!"
Why did the ass start a gardening service?
It was great at dropping SEEDS.
What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?
Alien vs. Predator.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Jay-Z and B.
What do you call a dinosaur that raps?
A VELOCI-RAPPER!
What do you call a sad rapper?
A SOB-HOP ARTIST.
Why was the rapper bad at fishing?
Because he always threw back the lines!
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he dropped the mic and picked up weights!
What's the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it's not funny anymore.
What do you call four black people in a sleeping bag?
A Kit Kat.
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
Why did the emo kids stop going to their favorite tree?
It died before them.
How does the cop respond to being called racist?
He said, "How can I be racist? My wife's eyes [are] black."
What is the difference between runners and my car?
My car is still running.
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.
John pretended to be a doctor.
Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."
John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"
Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."
John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"
Motu said, "I lost my memory."
John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"
Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?"
Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me."
The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything."
The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too.'"