What did the South tower get instead of pepperoni pizza?
It got a bunch of plane.
Yo mom's so old, she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!