Joke jokes
What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?
Unemployed.
My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.
I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
It's not a joke.
What do you call an Asian that was born too early?
Wong Tai Ming.
You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?
A lot of things.
If I slap an orphan, what will it do, tell its parents? 🤣😂🤣😂
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.
Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re not wanted.
What are a group of depressed people called?
A suicide squad.
Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
The ball kept getting bigger and bigger...
And then it hit me.
Why was the first orphan phone an iPhone X?
Because it doesn't have a home button.
Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?
Sans: What do you call them?
Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!