Why did the rapper become a carpenter?
To build some SOLID BARS
Why did Daveon get fired from his job at the orange juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate.
My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.
What makes 9/11 an inside job? Someone started calling it 10/7.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends. Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot. You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate."
Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs
there’s no hope.
being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. they get to play Cut the rope on the job all the time!
I got fired from my job at the bank today. An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Interviewer: what are your strengths? Interviewee: I fall in love easily. Interviewer: and your weaknesses? Interviewee: those beautiful green eyes of yours...
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator? He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.
A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.
"What are you doing all day?"
"Knot a lot."
I Lick poo for a living... You?
A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, ̈Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! ̈ After that he joined the Army and learned to say, ̈Yes sir! ̈ After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, ̈Forks and knives, forks and knives! ̈ After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, ̈Goody-goody gumdrops! ̈ A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows: Policeman: Who killed the man? Foreign man: Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! Policeman: Did you kill the man? Foreign man: Yes sir! Policeman: What did you use to kill him: Foreign man: Forks and knives, forks and knives! Policeman: You ́re under arrest. Foreign man: Goody-goody gumdrops!
Only profession one could have coronavirus and still goes to work is suicide terrorist.
I quit my job at the bank today I lost interest.
I think i would like a job cleaning mirrors, it's just something I could really see myself doing.
i work on medicine my jod is to smell it to see if its bad :)
People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?
Little boy: Momma Mom: Yes my dear Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's Mom: Why!? Little boy: Just to see if there ice cream machine is actually broken
My career is worth more than your adoption.
