Japanese

Japanese Jokes

Gun

A Japanese person comes to America and sees guns everywhere. One American says, "Welcome to America!"

Toaster

What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.

WW2

What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?

High-five

What happened when the Japanese guy offered Logan Paul a high five?

He left him hanging.

Golfer

I do not have enough information to complete this request. Can you please provide the joke?

Bomb

President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!

Man: We have the power of the sun itself!

President: Drop it on them!

Man: You push the button.

President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.

Man: Hands over button

President: Pushes it

Both: YAAA!

President: Bumps into the button pressing it again

Both: Oh, sh*t!

Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off

Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again

Dwarf

What's the difference between a dwarf and a Japanese man?

I don't know, you tell me.

Man

Why are Japanese always so skinny?

Cause last time there was a fat man, an entire city disappeared.

Break up

Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.

Mario

Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!

He's an Italian plumber, created by the Japanese, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew.

March

My friend group is pretty diverse. I'm Japanese, one friend is Filipino, one is American, one is Italian, and the last one is German.

Out of everyone in the friend group, the Filipino and the American were the quickest to feel uncomfortable when I asked, "Who wants to go on a march with me?"

Bomb

What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"

Nuke

Do you know why the Japanese have squinted eyes? Because nukes are bright.

iPhone

Why do Japanese people hate iPhones? Because they're scared that American airdrops will fall on them.

Suicide

Japanese people are so cool and organized, they have their own ways of suicide.

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  • Puzzle

    I have a thousand-piece puzzle of the Japanese map. It took me ages to finish it.

    But after the earthquake, I just threw all the pieces on the ground, and it's done.