Jail

Jail Jokes

Monster

Luca’s Mom and Dad be throwing the kids into the fountain in the city, but they're sea monsters, so if they went to jail for that, they would be on death row anyway. 🤣

Orphan

One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"

Orphanage

Why am I in jail? Because I wasn't invited to the party in the orphanage 23 days ago. Stupid fucks.

Sex

So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?

I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"

Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?

But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!

Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.

Crush

High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?

Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.

High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.

Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.

High school crush: Who is it?

Me: You.

Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)

Me: Fuck that.

Priest

I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.

Accident

I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."

(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)

Girlfriend

What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?

My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.

Emo

What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?

The prisoner.

Basement

What’s the difference between jail and my basement?

Some people are let out of jail.

Rape

Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.

Chief

Why did the chief go to jail?

Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!

Litter

I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.

Salad

What's the difference between a baby and a salad?

I'm not in jail for tossing a salad.