New Jail Jokes - Page 3 - Worst Jokes Ever

Why did the ducks go to jail?

They sold quack.

One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"

Why am I in jail? Because I wasn't invited to the party in the orphanage 23 days ago. Stupid fucks.

So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?

I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"

Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?

But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!

Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.

High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?

Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.

High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.

Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.

High school crush: Who is it?

Me: You.

Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)

Me: Fuck that.

I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.

What is orange and will soon be wearing prison orange? Trump.

Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.

I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."

(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)

What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?

My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.

What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?

The prisoner.

What’s the difference between jail and my basement?

Some people are let out of jail.

Kobe would still be alive if he would have gone to jail for raping that girl.

Why did the chief go to jail?

Because he beat the eggs and whipped the cream!

In prison, they called me sweet cheeks.

Why did Michael Jackson go to jail? He was feeling a little Randy.

I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.