it's jokes
What did the acorn say when it grew up?
Geometry.
(Geometry= "Gee, I'm a tree!")
How on God's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone?
JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.
Why was the train late?
It kept getting sidetracked.
What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags its tail, and the other tags a whale!
Why couldn't the orphan have the bag of chips?
It was family size.
Pov:You start writing son lyrics because you can't stand up for yourself knowing you've lost
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)
Why do orphans want a phone so bad?
Because it has a home button.
How many emos does it take to fix a light?
I don't know because they never came down.
My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.
If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?
I can’t take credit for this joke; it’s not mine.
Remember that time Joe Biden fell off his bike? He said it’s not his fault. He blamed the tires for being too inflated.
I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.
What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?
Organ harvesting.
Q: How do you punish a blind person?
A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
What do you call it when you see nothing but pants? Brief psychotic disorder!
Your hairline is so discombobulated, it looks like a geometrical shape.
A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.
“Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.
“No, it’s curry this time.”
How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?
It depends on how thin you slice them.
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
Why do the brakes keep squealing?
Because the driver hit it too hard.