it's jokes

I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.

I told a cookie a joke the other day.

It just crumbled.

This guy walks into a library one day and asks the librarian for a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian says, "F*** no, you won’t return it!"

What is it called when a gay guy punches someone?

Fruit punch.

How do you make holy water?

You take it to church ⛪️

My cousin died last week. He needed a blood transfusion, but we didn't know his blood type. He just kept saying, "B positive, B positive," but it's hard to be positive with him gone.

Why did the electron leave the atom?

Because it wanted to be Argon.

Why did the electron leave the atom?

Because it had its ion someone else.

When I was younger, I thought that it was cool to use knives because kids used to ask me to use them.

By the way, have you seen my sister?

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.

Then it hit me.

How do you fit a baby in a bowl? ... A blender... and how do you get it out?

Tortilla chips.

Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.

I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.

I figured I would steel it and put it on this site. I mean, it was either that, or lose it forever.

Apparently, I'm a category for jokes now. Hmm... ok!

#HOMIEZ4Life

P.S. Say "crack my finger," now say it backwards :)

Your forehead is so big, I can write an essay on it.

What did the beaver say when it hit the wall?

Dam!

So, I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion.

(SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING)

Q: Why is it fun to hit an orphan?

A: Who are they going to tell, their parents?

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.

Playing a game called 7-Up.

Student: Why can't I use a pencil to tap their fingers?

Teacher: It's cheating!

Student: No! It's the object of the game.