it's jokes

I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.

What is wrong with having chocolate for dessert? It tastes like shit, and I hate it.

What is big, black, and hairy? It's a gorilla with a machine gun.

Have you seen the new movie Constipation?

You haven't?

That's because it hasn't come out yet.

Gwen sassy: Hi here, my credit card. Don't get it wet, it is too much!

Unknown: Okay!

Gwen sassy: Man, I am late, can you move along! Much!

Unknown whispering: Sexy!

Once I was in South Korea doing stand up comedy... and I started with a "hidden" joke and I said: "I'm so happy to be here in one of the most beautiful Korea's in the world..." which is a good joke but they didn't get it, and they looked at me badly... so I said "I'm here in the South which is more beautiful... South good, North booooooo." But still nothing, they kept glaring at me... then I realized that maybe I was in the wrong Korea.

I've got something better for all of you. I may not have found it, but Google "hottest sexiest women ever." Then you'll want them!

What did Michael Jackson say to the kid sitting on his lap?

"Just beat it."

Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead, DUHHHHHHHHHHH!

Who thinks people should stop doing orphan jokes? Type here so we can talk about it.

There is only one reason why I find women useful.

That is because they make sandwiches, but that is about it.

I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.

What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?

Dollar a pop!

Get it?

So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide.

The librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

If you own a gun and you live in the USA, hide your gun upstairs. Biden can't get it.

Biden: *falls over on steps*

How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?

How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.

How do you put a baby in a blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?

How do you get the baby out? With a tortilla chip!

#NoMoreOrphanJokes STOP IT NOW! I will dislike all the orphan jokes that appear.

Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.

Dad: Rubbing on the horse’s chest and butt.

Little Johnny: What are you doing?

Dad: Checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it.

Little Johnny: Oh well, I think the mall man wants to buy mom.