it's jokes
Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁
Why was the train late?
It kept getting sidetracked.
(On their 1-2 loss to Watford) Ty: Well, we mustn't forget that it's been raining so...
Robbie: It's been raining???
Ty: Yeah!
Robbie: Are you being serious??? It's raining for both teams!
Best way to kiss someone is to lick inside their mouth with your tongue a lot of times, and they will really like it, especially me!! - lizard kiss+ french kiss= SloBbY Kiss.
Thanks for learning and getting advice.
Also, don't be such a horny one!
How on God's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone?
JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
Why haven’t any women gone to the moon?
A: It doesn’t need to be cleaned.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
Why can you not let an orphan touch an iPhone 7? Because it would break if they touched the home button.
What did the acorn say when it grew up?
Geometry.
(Geometry= "Gee, I'm a tree!")
What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?
"That's nacho cheese!"
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
Yo mama so fat that when she was on the moon, she had it sent right into the abyss of outer space.
In the new Justice League movie, Flash can break glass by touching it, why is that?
Because Flash is not supported on Windows.
What is it called when an orphan is having a family reunion?
Me time.
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."
Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."
Hi Alex, it's 2:00 Easter time. Freshfry is a scaredy-cat. He left when you left, lol.
Why are orphans only able to have iPhone X's? Because it doesn't have a home button.