it's jokes
What is it called when an orphan goes on vacation?
Answer: He's making family memories.
I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"
Bro, I love hanging out with bullies. It's either we play Yahtzee or we playing Nazi.
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
My friend said he wanted to die, and I told him not to jump. But when he screamed, "Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!" I knew it was over.
Your lips are so big, it turns the Grand Canyon sideways.
I was going to share my joke about anal, but, fuck it, it was inappropriate.
"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"
You've heard of anal sex.
You've heard of oral sex.
You've heard of genital sex.
But have you ever heard of NASAL SEX?
I was gonna make a gay joke but fuck it.
What's it called if an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.
Your mama is so fat, it said "To be continued..." then it loaded and said "One person at a time!"
When I saw you, it instantly made me cry. LOL.
When I saw your face, it instantly made me throw up.
Your forehead is sooo big, NASA thought it was Mars!
An emo tried to give a tree a hive, but it left him hanging.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.
"OK, son," he says. "It's as easy as counting to 5."
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying, "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4."